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evil food

  • Dec. 1st, 2009 at 8:49 PM

not bad, just evil.
remember i said something like all my house has is boring food?
i realised that that's true, but boring ingredients can make innersting abdominal fillings.
it's kinda like putting k. stewart and r.pattinson together and getting something (marginally, in twilight) better.

ok but the results of my attempt to jiggle a retardedly vegetarian lasagne was far from my expectations.
first of all i don't have ground beef cos somehow the beef i have in the refridgerator come in big chunks, so i estimated it'll take around 5 weeks for my accumulated salivary amylase (and other juices i've extracted from passer-by birds) to break that down into minced cow. there's no saying. so i decided that's too long time to wait.
and since beef as a high affinity for the tummy and arse, i decided to make a vegetarian lasagne so good that even vegetables won't mind eating (if they had mouths that could say "hello i'm a stalk of carrot").
there was milk and then there was cheese and then there was butter and then there was more butter and then there was more cheese omfg AND THEN THERE WAS MORE CHEESE.
after some heat therapy from the good ol' metal box it was ready.
i dug my spoon into its smooth and supple plateau-like layers, you know, how vampires or bodybuilders would enjoy their blood pudding.
it went straight for the mouth and it was smoking hot and delish at the same time i went "eet ith thoh goodth"
i can seriously open a vegetarian eatery with a mini koi pond and a porcelain cat.

the joy lasted until i found out lasagne is, and will remain (until the americans find some other way to add more chees einto other italian foods) the most fatty pasta.
mm hmm. the fat molecules enter the victims' bloodstreams and gang rape the walls like there's no tomorrow. so much for non-boring food.

moral of the story: if you wanna try making lasagne, make sure you have 2 sisters who're willing to brave the fats.

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craving for mcd

  • Dec. 1st, 2009 at 3:30 PM

i've been sleeping and non-sleeping for the past 1.5 days
besides that i've been eating boring food.
like you know, food old/sick people eat, totally healthy and sickening.
googling for images of sexy dirty naughty food isn't helping either

god, please start raining hamburgers

sigh (this time it's a big one)

  • Nov. 30th, 2009 at 1:46 PM

i have a million thoughts right now but..
why are they so hard to say
i can just ignore them but...
why do i choose not to

spaced out ghurvingki

  • Nov. 27th, 2009 at 8:53 PM

i woke up today to a start
"hello" turned out to be "tweek"
i think this is the first time in my recallable life that i've lost my voice.

i've never really treasured my voice,
cos it's noisy and uncontrollably penetrative on certain occasions, coupled with acoustics.

it's a terrible feeling, coupled with other terrible feelings.


this day..

  • Nov. 19th, 2009 at 4:49 PM

so many bad news just keep coming today

and the worst thing is, it's beyond my control and i can't seem to do anything to help anything or anyone.

sigh.. hopefully for everyone tomorrow will be a blissful day of change and beautiful things will arise.

it's kinda late, i know

  • Nov. 19th, 2009 at 1:14 AM

what am i doing up so late, right?

i'm a killer. an assassin, some of them call me. i track down my prey and devour them with my grossly overwhelming incisors that make me look quite ridiculous in the day, when i'm in casual wear. i hate full moons, because that triggers the buccal libido- i start to salivate like a battery factory releasing chemical wastes. it really does bad things for my image. like, who needs to look like a greater savage when i'm already eating a human raw?

sometimes, though, i get real pissed when i realise the humans aren't as tasty as they're supposed to be and are actually leprechauns. it's kinda hard to tell in the dark. and worse still, when the humans are all snugly cuddled in their beds, the cotton from the pillows and blankets serve as a major tasteless and irritating distraction.

it sounds bad, but it's actually kind of fulfilling and cool being a ridiculously-overpaid security guard on night duty.

the cosmos are aligned

  • Nov. 17th, 2009 at 8:29 PM

the diana has arrived!
i swear we only ordered on sunday.. and surprisingly it only took less than 2 days to be delivered
(i love DHL now and will not in my whole life condone stupid immature untrue cheap jokes on the acronym)

can't wait to develop the first roll of film!

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the result of a boring day

  • Nov. 16th, 2009 at 8:33 PM

ever tried frying the yolk and white separately?
it's quite fun actually.

not written by me, but easily the funniest movie review

  • Nov. 15th, 2009 at 12:49 PM

Flicked Off: '2012' is Awesome and Haters Can Suck It

187

You know who I love? I love anyone who hated this movie because I would like to fight them to the death for being wrong as balls. Fuckouttahere. I wanna be on the 2012 thrill park ride, playing 2012 on my Nintendo DS, eating the 2012-branded chocotaco and watching this movie at the same time because I am greedy for this brand of INCREDIBLEBANANASINCREDIBLE. Everyone who says otherwise may as well have written their reviews on their faces in marker because they are obviously batshit crazy and should be ignored. Seriously, will somebody tell me what people expected other than 158 minutes of apocalypse BUKKAKE? Roland Emmerich knows how to destroy himself some world and sure it isn't so much a story but a sprayfest of rapid-fire money shots but what else would it be? And what else would make it THIS AWESOME? It's like the movie has ultra-oxygenated blood and sleeps upside down in a hyperbaric chamber and eats tiger penis like it's its job because it has psycho endurance that feels GREAT in your brain.

And I'm NOT sorry that I find it spectacularly satisfying to watch all these teeny tiny career-having, property-owning, H1N1 vaccine sucking-up CGI strangers EAT IT with the backdrop of a steaming, fetid Los Angeles getting fucked sideways by buildings and malls all angry-style and every single shit-eating, soul-killing highway being lobbed like al dente spaghetti against the fridge door of the OCEAN. You get to see that expensive-ass Hawaii MELT and Rio swallows itself with the dignity of someone being eaten by his own asshole AND Vegas gets it because over-tanned mongoloids in ugly clothes are flammable. This movie's great. It's like how aggressive people like crunchy snacks times a MILLION.
John Cusack is in it. So is Oliver Platt. And Amanda Peet. And Thandie Newton and also Chiwetel Ejiofor and Woody Harrelson and ZERO causal explanations as to why the Earth's core is spazzing the fuck out other than the mega convenient Deus ex Mexican title but OH MY PSHAW WHO CARES. Well, other than that Cusack doesn't suck like that strokeface Nic Cage and and it's cool cause he moonlights as a chauffeur and gets to be dressed like he's in Gross Pointe Blank basically the whole time. Also, his name is Jackson Curtis which makes me laugh and laugh thinking how rad it would've been if it were not opposite day but inversion day and 50 Cent was playing himself as the lead. The only gripe I do have is with that the Internet straight-up does not exist in 2012 because seriously they just Photoshopped it out of the picture and that's some horseshit because the Twitter feed would've been HILARIOUS (#drowninghurts).
I mean, obviously 2012 has nothing to do with the Mayan apocalypse or the perseverance of what makes us human or the shifting of tectonic plates or what we'll be called when we're Pangea for whatever tessellation of blue and green comes next, but it does make you think about how you'd want to go if you had only had a couple of hours to live because unceremonious death is a major theme in the real-life version of 2009. I am pretty sure I will be wearing a full-length chinchilla furside-in, munching on fistfuls of MDMA, eating chips, and just trying to live long enough to not have to talk to my parents or anyone who knows me but still get to see and howl at enough mind-blowing violence to FEEL THE RAPTURE.
Watch the movie. It's good for morale. It's seriously as close as you'll get to whatever David Carradine went looking for. Even though I'd have preferred if EVERYONE DIED because it's way funnier and because honestly, what's more anticlimactic than living?



Mary Choi was promoted to the position of The Awl's Chief Film Critic while she was writing this post.

—Mary HK Choi

from http://www.theawl.com/2009/11/flicked-off-2012-is-awesome-and-haters-can-suck-it

easily there, girl.
funny review, but everyone should be able to judge for themselves.

i'm a victim/victor of consumerism

  • Nov. 12th, 2009 at 7:44 PM

you know, for every piece of clothing a person buys from overpriced brands, a child in africa loses an item of clothing; be it the last sweet wrapper they call a sock, the potato sack they call a chiffon dress, the discarded t-shirt with a large nazi swastika they wear so innocuously, the used tampon they cling onto(!).

on the other side of the world, a receipt is printed.

p.s. shopping is sinful

question

  • Nov. 11th, 2009 at 9:02 PM

which facial products do you guys (i mean, those of you who happen to have flawless complexions and oiless t-zones) use?

and er.. are fingernails useful tools in maintenance of a pimple-free face?

sorry if this sounds like one of those teen forums or something
i'm on the verge of kwah srsly.

a virgin experience

  • Nov. 10th, 2009 at 8:08 PM

1) it's not like i haven't eaten bbq food before, but today was my first time at seoul garden (so glutton).. i know right, so lame that i'm a late bloomer in eating carcinogenic (in)consumables in such a rowdy atmosphere.

2) it also seems like the first time i almost died in orchard cos of this grumpy old man who was cycling and almost hit me to my death. he could've just done it then and fast. why didn't he? alas, the realization that there is greater meaning in life.

3) great injustice towards people who believed in steve jobs when the first gen ipod touch came out- they fontoodly don't make anymore accessories made for ipod touch first gen, assuming that it's the most antique fontoodle in the whole wide fontoodling world. will need to steal then. (this is a prediction of my very first attempt at burglary)

sorry, was just speaking bollocks.


 

in case you're in need of some beyonce holiday workout

  • Nov. 6th, 2009 at 7:37 PM

Here are the main muscles to target to get those attractive buns. Note that you can't directly lose fat from a particular spot but you can target muscle building, which is what will give you that "tighter" look -- all without excessive bulk for the women who might be worried.

  • Gluteus maximus (largest butt muscle)
  • Gluteus minimus
  • Gluteus medius
  • Biceps femoris (hamstring)
  • Semitendinosus (hamstring)
  • Semimembranosus (hamstring)

These exercises emphasize the gluteus maximus, medius and minimus (butt), and the thighs, particularly the back of the thighs, the hamstrings. The front of the thighs will also get worked with some of these exercises such as the squat and the deadlift.

  • Lunges, weighted or not
  • Squats - body, dumbbell or barbell
  • Deadlifts
  • Good mornings
  • Cable kick backs
  • Cable hip abductions
  • Stepups
  • Swiss ball leg curls and bridge
  • Angled leg press
  • Standing leg curls on machine

Lunges. Thrust each leg forward alternately while bending at the knee. Make sure the knee does not extend over the toes. Modify this with dumbbells in each hand held at the side or with a light barbell on the shoulders. You can do lunges forward or backward, single step or walking.

Squats. Squats can be done with dumbbells, barbells or just with the weight of your body. See how to do the squat. This is one of the best exercises for butt and thigh development done correctly, which means you should not get too far forward. Doing so emphasizes the knee and front of the thigh excessively. Also descend until the upper thighs are parallel with the ground.

Deadlifts. The deadlift is a great all-round exercise for building shape and strength around the butt and upper legs. You need to practice good form with this one to ensure your back is not in a vulnerable position.

Good mornings. This exercise emphasizes the gluteals and the hamstrings. Hold a barbell on the shoulders in the squat position or rest dumbbells on the trapezius shoulder muscle with dumbbell pointing to the front. Bend forward with back straight and feel the hamstrings and butt stretch. Legs can be straight or bent according to trunk flexibility.

Cable kick backs. With the cable pulley machine, wrap a cuff extension around an ankle with the cuff and cable at the bottom of the machine. Facing the weight stack, take the leg back to the rear against the weight as far as comfortable and return.

Cable hip abductions. Using the same cable machine and cuff, position yourself so that you are side on to the weight stack. Cuff the leg farthest from the stack and move the leg outward against the weight and return to the center. Alternate legs for both exercises.

Stepups. Stepping up onto a step of at least 6 inches (15 centimeters) and down again with alternating legs works the glutes very well. You can add more work by holding dumbbells in each hand.

Swiss ball leg curls. Lie on your back and rest your heels on a ball. Bridge your back and butt with hands flat on the floor for support and roll the ball back and forward from straight leg to knees at an angle. This is a more advanced exercise that you can try when you have more control and strength.

Angled leg press. The angled leg press is similar to the standard leg press but with a more reclining seat position. This makes the gluteal butt muscles work harder.

Standing machine leg curls. Leg curls on the machine are a standard exercise for the muscles at the back of the thigh, mainly the hamstring group. The lower gluteals, the gluteus maximus, get some work as well.

There's plenty here to choose from yet it doesn't end there. The variety of butt and thigh exercises is quite extensive.

thods

  • Nov. 2nd, 2009 at 9:32 PM

there are 3 ways i can lead my life-
1) like everyone else
2) ponder our very existence
3) laugh at the futility life and be a nomad/gypsy

option 1 seems like the right way to go, you know, be an accountant, teacher, doctor, waiter, bus driver or a dance competition judge. it is logical and can guarantee a stable life, albeit boring. you know the drill- on our deathbeds we still cling on to whatever we have in life, rather than consider what awaits after death.

option 2 is terrifying. if i manage to find an infallable solution, it's even scarier. i'll be grumpy and mock all mousehunters, look at all that fall under option 1 as conformists- those who've conformed to societal norms, the world and their warped beliefs - and hit them with sticks. this means sacrificing my life to seek truth in vain. so what if i possess truth? nobody would read a book written by an outlier; even if they do, they'll probably not believe anything. otherwise, by the time i've found the source of life (or god), it's time for me to go. after death, all knowledge acquired during lifetime is useless.

option 3 appears tempting. worry-free and the easy way out of complications that may arise from choosing option 1 or 2. i'll feed solely on pellegrino and salted alfafa sprouts, ride a solar-powered trailer. it seems like anyone who chooses option 3 will face no problems, but life will be boring, since people who'll choose 3 already know that life is futile; our world is a waiting room, the train cabin to an unknown destination. people who choose 3 read magazines or sleep, while option-2-ists read the safety manuals or ask the captain about the destination, and people (majority) who chose option 1 will just be looking out the window, taking interest in whatever comes in sight.

these 3 options are listed on the basis that love will not be considered.

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yes, i'd like some cheese to go with that whine

  • Oct. 30th, 2009 at 10:06 PM

i'd probably sound like a jerk by saying i'm not happy with my msg. truth is, it is a good result; but i expected better due to my (mis)calculations.

there's so much more in life anyway- tv shows and books and nice shoes.

all the best to all sec 4s, and i'll miss you, 4P1.

i'm not sure

  • Oct. 23rd, 2009 at 8:11 PM

oh there's really nothing to talk about these days

will post when i manage to steal others' genius ideas.


vogue, pls.

hmm

  • Oct. 20th, 2009 at 9:06 PM

"Those who are dead are not dead
They're just living in my head
And since I fell for that spell
I am living there as well
Oh..

Time is so short and I'm sure
There must be something more"

short haha

  • Oct. 15th, 2009 at 9:51 PM

October 13th, 2009

A very short story.

It was a dark and stormy night, and I was alone in my house when the phone rang. “Hello?” I said. “Who is it?” But the person on the other end was silent. “This is Edith Zimmerman, who are you?” I asked. “I love to talk with people, please say something!” But no, there was just more silence along with a few snatches of ragged breath and a faint sound of knives being sharpened. “Hello hello? Oh well, I’m so excited you called, anyway, because whenever I get to talk to someone it’s so awesome for me. So first let me just say a big thank you, this is really, really great.” And here I paused to let whoever it was say something, like “You’re welcome,” or whatever, but they were still so quiet! Although the sound of knives was getting a little louder, I guess. “OK, so, what are you up to? Cooking? You getting ready to chop something up for dinner? Carrots? What?” Just then I heard a low groan, garbled and throaty. “Hey, you’re talking!” I said. “You’re going to talk to me! Yay! I can’t wait for what you’re going to say!” I was smiling so wide I could hardly contain it! It felt like the smile was so wide it would rip off the sides of my face and peel backward until my entire skull was exposed in the biggest, happiest smile ever.

from http://www.edithzimmerman.com/blog/

so dumb, so dumb.

long time no see

  • Oct. 10th, 2009 at 6:06 PM

after a long time of not checking the tarot card thing on facebook,

 Daily Tarot Card
Saturday, October 10


Page of CupsPage of Cups
 A youthful boy with the promise of life and love at his feet. A message of love coming to you. Seduction by a younger person possible. Someone trying to charm you. A love of beauty and imagination. Puppy love. Innocence. A young person at the beginning stages of a new relationship. Possible over-excitement in love. New social contacts are possible.
 

hello??? i want results, not love.. im too materialistic to want love..

anw to all ppl using the idiotic application with the smiley that says "hows much luck tomorrow" or the other one that says "what are you going to get for ur next test", PLEASE STOP IT..
firstly it gives you false hope
secondly ive tried millions of times and the highest ive ever got was less than satisfactory
thirdly its really irritating that ur rubbing your (mis)fortune into my face, given that im a potential retainee.
fourthly its flooding my updates page (which is the least of my concern, cos i like to know what ppl are doing while i while im offline studying)

i sincerely wish everyone a wonderful examination experience and bangin' results (honestly, cos i think nobody wants to be a sec3 next year)

xoxo

this is not a good situation to be in now

  • Sep. 30th, 2009 at 7:43 PM

i just suddenly have a rush of negative feelings towards everything
and being unable to be adequately prepared for the exam tomorrow is bugging me

so sad to be looking at a bleak future before the real verdict comes two weeks later
wonder if anyone else shares the same feeling

urgggh (place emphasis on 'g's by making a phlegm sound with throat)
i worry too much

nevertheless, wishing everybody the best of luck for the exams

oxox

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